Bad News Kind-of Sucks

Listen to the news today and you’ll hear stories about shootings, war, and heated exchanges between politicians. The grocery store tabloids tout scandal about celebrity divorces and deaths. We hear about bankruptcy, nuclear arms, and natural disasters. You get the gist. But every now and then you’ll get a good news story… new promising treatment for a terminal disease, a heroic rescue, missing person found. Wouldn’t it be great if we had more of those stories?

The media is full of “bad” news. And it seems the more horrific, the more it’s covered and talked about. But frankly, bad news kind-of sucks.

Bad news is disheartening and depressing, and too much negativism is contagious. The Education Resources Information Center (ERIC) contains a report from the Communications Research Center entitled, The Effects of Bad and Good News on Newspaper Image and Community Image. The study concluded that “bad news created a negative image of the community not only on characteristics directly related to the news topics (safety, crime, and violence) but also on general characteristics (standard of living, neighborhoods, and environment).” Too much bad news just proves things are bad and getting worse, it makes you feel generally bad. But guess what? Good news is just as contagious!

As followers of Christ, we are commissioned to “love one another,” (John 15:12) and we should give the same amount of attention and talk time to our good fortunes. Imagine a world that is full of positive thoughts and actions and deeds! Oh that I would live to see!

Now I’m not saying that we should ignore or be oblivious to all bad news. I don't advocate turning the news off. Certainly not – it’s important to be aware of the issues. But we need to feed ourselves with equal amounts good news. What goes in is what comes out. Good news is uplifting, and it breeds happiness.

It takes a little more effort to find and hear inspiring stories. Those feel good stories don’t always make front page or prime time, but they're so worth the effort. So here's three websites I've found that feature good news:

Good News Network (subscription service)
Happy News
Huffpost Good News

So where do you go to hear your positive and enriching stories?

Christmas International House - Day 11 and 12; Food and Trivia

Day 11 – Market Day
As we near the end of the CIH program, today the International students go to an Asian market to pick up supplies for the dishes they are preparing for the International Luncheon.  Since I have a lot of catch-up work to do after playing yesterday, another host family graciously agrees to pick up Ren Zhe at the end of their shopping trip, and let her hang out a few hours during the afternoon.

I'm feeling down. We've kept so busy throughout the holidays that I've missed having time with my mom and dad, and my sister and her boys. Isn't the holiday season supposed to be warmly shared with family?

Day 12 – Farewell and International Luncheon
Held at a church, each International student prepares a favorite dish from their native country to serve to the host families. Ren Zhe fixes a tomato and egg soup, as well as a pork and tofu dish made with a spicy bean sauce. It is delicious and my favorite. We enjoy the foods prepared by all the students. What a feast!

There is a Trivia game / Yankee gift exchange for the International students. First, they must answer a trivia question correct, then they can pick an unopened gift or select one that has already been picked and unwrapped.  All the students select new gifts (are they trying to spare feelings?) until it gets to Ren Zhe. She very happily “steals” a rice cooker and presents it to us, her host family, as a gift. That’s re-gifting made simple and very nice! Thank you Ren Zhe, and we are so enjoying our rice cooker.

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Here is one trivia question that stumped everyone in the group – Americans included! Let’s see how you do (send me an email with your answer and I will reply - click on the "contact" button at the top of this page). But no cheating and looking it up! No electronic devices or computers allowed – we didn’t have them for the game and neither can you!

Who was inaugurated President of the United Sates in 1789?

Christmas International House - Day 9; Stressing

Day 9
I hate to whine, really I do, but I’m afraid that’s what's happening today. It’s back to another tension filled short holiday work week. Another short time span to get the full week of hours in – yea me.  What’s more, I even plan to take one workday off this week to partake in the CIH program activities.

Since I’m shortening my 3 ½ day work week to 2 ½ - 3 days, I start work today around 7:00 a.m., stopping only to take Ren Zhe to the drop off point, then back to work. I’m happy today’s program includes both a lunch and dinner for the students at different churches, freeing me to work a little later.

The International students take a Blue Bell Creamery tour, then spend a fun-filled day riding go-karts, playing mini-golf, and more.  The church hosting their evening meal provides Mexican food and a piñata for the students to break open afterward. Ren Zhe brings home a piece of candy for both my daughters from the piñata.

While I love the CIH program, I wonder about future participation as it feels we’ve been so busy. And since I feel I’ve been neglecting the kids, I’m very grateful for the Wii the kids received at Christmas. Hmm. Not feeling like a good mother.

Christmas International House - Day 8; Sleeping

Day 8
Today the CIH program resumes with a play at The Ensemble Theatre in downtown Houston, one of our nation’s largest and oldest professional African American theatres. The play is Christmas with Great Aunt, a contemporary gospel celebrating family. Because the play is on Sunday, the whole family is able to participate in this program event, following church and a nice lunch at our neighborhood Country Club.

I must admit, many of the International students were not able to follow the play because the ethnic accents of the actors were too difficult for the students to understand. Overall, I think most of them got the gist of the play and enjoyed the music at a minimum. We lost a few of the students to slumber, however.

I unfortunately end the evening with a huge headache and head to bed as soon as we get home. I guess it's a day for sleeping.

Christmas International House - Day 7; A New Bear to Love

Day 7
We are now one week into the CIH program and getting to know Ren Zhe very well. She is bright and funny, and we all love having her around.

Call us daring if you will, but today we brave the crowds and take Ren Zhe to the mall. Well, almost all of us do. My husband opts instead to stay home, as he isn’t much of a shopper and particularly not on a busy day. But alas, the crowds aren’t all that bad and we find some super bargains.

Ren Zhe experiences Build-A-Bear for the first time as my youngest uses a Christmas gift certificate to create a new bear to love.

Christmas International House - Day 5 and 6; Christmas

Day 5 – Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve consists of dinner at my sister’s house, followed by a candlelight worship service at Woodforest Presbyterian Church. Our family tradition is to open one gift on Christmas Eve. For our kids, the gift is always pajamas so they have something new to wear on Christmas morning. For Ren Zhe, we give her a soft and fuzzy pair of socks with Shea Butter from Bath & Body Works.

Day 6 – Christmas Day
We spend Christmas Day at my mother’s house and enjoy good food and great company. The kids play games, and as always, Ren Zhe is an enthusiastic participant. She teaches them a card game she plays in China, and they call it "slaps" since Ren Zhe isn't sure the American name.

Today, I am surprised by Ren Zhe's intuitiveness. We play the game, Loaded Questions, and on one of the questions she very easily answers correctly that "too much to do" is one of my worries. I guess I am pretty transparent when it comes to stress.

I also learn that many of the people of Shanghai, China are Buddhist. There are many Buddha, unlike Christianity which has just one God. Taught to live a good life, Buddhist believe what they do in this lifetime determines what they will become in their next life, or rebirth. The worst is to come back as a bull or a horse, since everything is packed on their backs.

In Shanghai, people may get together to celebrate Christmas but it typically only involves dinner and well wishes for a happy Christmas. It has no religious significance. Christmas trees and decorations are not usually used in the homes and most people work, as it is not a major holiday.

Merry Christmas! While I'm not so sure I've done a good job preparing my heart during the Advent season, I am happy to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ with my family and loved ones, and with our new friend Ren Zhe, from China.

Christmas International House - Day 3 and 4; Language

Day 3
Today I drop off our student in downtown Houston, which requires a little less time on the road and no tolls. I’m still worrying about getting my work hours in for the week. The drop off is a little later in the morning and there is no dinner planned for the students this evening, so it makes for a short workday.

Today, the International students are visiting the Museum of Fine Arts, Museum of Natural Science, and the Houston Zoo, weather permitting. But the sky is gray and it threatens rain. Everyone hopes the rain will hold off, but they cancel the picnic lunch, just in case.

Since I want to use all the day I can for work, I don’t plan or prepare an evening meal. We decide on KFC, and are pleased that Ren Zhe likes chicken.

After dinner, we play Apples to Apples and I admire Ren Zhe. How difficult it must be to live in a home where the only language spoken is not your first language, yet be willing to participate in word games. We oblige her request to use her electronic Chinese English dictionary. What a very fun evening with lots of laughter.



Day 4
While I am thoroughly enjoying the CIH program and especially our student, Ren Zhe, by now I am also feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work to do in such limited time. Today’s schedule for our student - shopping at Memorial City Mall. This means a later morning drop off and early pick-up as the students have no dinner plans for the evening. And I still have five hours of work to get in.

My wonderful husband comes through for me. He gets home early and starts dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, then offers to pick up Ren Zhe. What a blessing, as I am able to get my work done.

Our evening consists of a movie, Ernest Goes to Camp, which is a corny comedy, but a favorite of the kids. We watch the movie with English subtitles for Ren Zhe, and have another enjoyable night.

Christmas International House - Day 2; Freedoms

Day 2
OK, I’ll admit it. I’m already beginning to question how I’m going to get my job done. During our CIH student’s two-week stay, my husband and I both still have to work. Somehow, I’ve got to get five days worth of work done in three days because of the holidays, and also take time to drop off and pick up our student at the various planned events. What was I thinking when I signed us up for this?

I take Ren Zhe to the drop off point, a 50-minute drive without traffic, and a $6 toll, each way. Fortunately, the students’ schedule is long today and includes dinner at a church, so the rest of the day is mine to work.

It proved worth every minute, as we all enjoyed hearing Ren Zhe’s accounting of her day. They toured NASA and got to meet an astronaut who has been to the International Space Station and will be going again very soon. Considered a celebrity in China, it is a special event indeed to meet and speak with an Astronaut for Ren Zhe.

I ask Ren Zhe is she has siblings, and learn she is an only child. China has a one-child policy. I had heard that before and should have remembered, but it seems such a foreign concept to me – having a government policy in place that says how many children you can have.

I feel lucky and blessed to have the freedoms we enjoy in our country.

Christmas International House - Day 1; Welcome

This year, my family and I participated in Christmas International House (CIH), a program designed to provide homes over the holidays for international students attending stateside universities. Colleges close over the holidays and many students cannot afford to go home. Through the Christian ministry of CIH, host families open their homes to these students, developing friendships, exchanging ideas, and cultivating peace with people from countries with different cultures.

So many people have asked me about the program that I thought I’d share a day-by-day review here on the blog. I hope that it will answer questions for anyone contemplating the program, and provide insight for me as to future participation. I welcome and encourage comments and questions from those seeking more information, or from anyone who has a similar story to tell.

Day 1
After a day postponement due to an overbooked Greyhound bus, our student arrives.  She looks much like the picture she sent ahead of arrival, only she’s tired after the very long ride from the University of Missouri. Friendly and pleasant, the family likes her immediately. Her English is good.

Our student, Ren Zhe, just barely has time to unpack and shower before we're off to the opening dinner for host families and students. Held at a church, the food was Japanese and very delicious. Families and students had the opportunity to meet and interact. We sang Christmas carols and Santa visited with a gift for each student. Then we broke into teams and had a Gingerbread House building contest. Ours didn’t win, but we sure had fun trying.

Ren Zhe is from China. I learned that there is no English equivalent to Zhe. It sounds something like Gya or Djyal (with the d and l very subtle). I don’t know if I’ll ever pronounce her name correctly.

Wordless Posting - Pics of Live Nativity

Live Nativity - A Holiday Stress Buster

Continuing with the theme of my last post, I offer this as a holiday stress buster. While true this is still something to do, it's meant to result in your taking the time to reflect on the true meaning of this season. And it's fun and free, and the weather looks to be perfect.

Woodforest Presbyterian Church hosts its annual live nativity, tonight, between 6-8pm. It's your chance to dress as a shepherd or angel and participate. The stage is set for the holiest of nights, complete with stable, live animals, Mary, Joseph and the babe. Refreshments are served.

Woodforest Presbyterian Church is located at 15330 Wallisville Road, at the corner of Black Rock and Wallisville in Houston, Texas.

Perhaps one of the best ways to bust the stress of the season is to be intentional. Read this "Holidays or Holy Days" post by our church pastor, and please share your stress busting thoughts in the comments.

A Service Project - Cookies and Goodnight

Like most everyone I know, I've donated items, helped with food drives, and contributed monetarily to worthwhile causes. I've very proudly espoused my daughters' service endeavors too, like Locks of Love ponytail donations and Lake Houston cleanup efforts. But this most recent event gave me a very meaningful one-on-one experience of handing the “gift” directly to the recipient.

Our Brownie Girl Scout troop recently participated in a program called “Cookies and Goodnight” at the Star of Hope in Houston. The Star of Hope is a Christ-centered mission dedicated to the homeless. They offer a comprehensive approach to addressing both immediate (food/shelter) and long-term (education/employment) issues of the homeless. “Cookies and Goodnight” is a program whereby volunteers provide an evening snack for the residents living at their Transitional Living Center.

Because we volunteered and served on a Saturday, there were many residents absent on weekend passes. Others were attending classes, so we didn’t have the expected 250 or so residents show up for the evening snack. What we did have though was a tremendously grateful and appreciative group of mostly mothers and children.

The “thanks” we heard were sincere and plentiful. These people so appreciated our cookies and milk, some of them coming up and asking for a second serving. Something so simple meant so much to them, and it made me mindful of my own abundance and blessings.

As we gather together with family and friends across the country this Thursday to celebrate and give thanks, let us not forget those less fortunate. I’m glad to have participated in this program, particularly that my kids were able to share the experience, and I look forward to my next service opportunity. Happy Thanksgiving! What are some of your most meaningful volunteer experiences?

Learning to Be Grateful

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe everyone has been charitable at some point or another. People give to those in need in huge numbers. Perhaps you donate to a favorite cause, or you've prepared a meal for someone who has experienced loss, or you adopt a family over the holidays and buy gifts they otherwise wouldn't have. Or maybe your giving is the gift of time as a volunteer, tithing to the church, preparing food at a soup kitchen, or simply comforting and talking to the lonely. We've all “been there, done that” - just some more than others. But what happens when you are the recipient of all that giving? Have you been?

Blessed with friends and family that are unbelievable at lending support and help, recently, I’ve been heavy on the receiving side. My friend had a household item repaired for me – something she knew wasn’t a priority in my current financial situation, but something she knew I would love to have fixed. The Chevy I am driving belongs to my parents – they loaned it on pretense and immediately began calling it mine. Even businesses I frequent have bartered. And there’s been more. It’s been an incredible journey throughout this period of under- and unemployment.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the barrage of emotion that would go along with these gifts and acts of kindness.

Most obvious, of course, is the direct joy and pleasure resulting from these expressions of love. To know that people care, and care so deeply, is undeniably mind-boggling. It is a true reflection of fellowship and community, and of complete selflessness and generosity.

But on the flip side, and where I’ve been surprised, are my conflicting sentiments. I feel beholden, that I need to repay these offerings, but how? What could I possibly do to repay all this bigheartedness? Am I a charity case, and when did that happen? Do I talk too much about my personal situation? Am I accountable for this assistance? And what about moving forward?

In a nutshell – I’m feeling guilt when I should be feeling gratitude. Which, by the way, makes me feel shame. However, I am truly thankful too. It’s confusing to say the least.

So what about you? Have you received something that has left you with conflicting emotions? How did you work it out?