The Importance of Church for Kids

I’m glad that I’ve taken my kids to church on Sundays since they were babies. Now that they are pre-teen and teen, it’s expected that on Sunday mornings we will attend church, except for the rarity of being out of town, having to work, or someone in the family being sick. And I’m so glad that’s the case for a number of reasons.

Obviously, the biggest benefit is that we worship God together as a family. Which is what church is for, the worship of Almighty God. It’s not about me, it’s not about you, and it’s not about hearing a sermon so that you or I can feel better. It’s all about glorifying God, and it’s nice to do that in fellowship with my family.

But more than the obvious, I am so lucky that my kids don’t argue about going to church, whereas someone who hasn’t taken their kids to church might have a hard time dragging them there at this age. Their kids may fear the unknown, and worry about not knowing the bible, the church traditions, or even what to expect in the service. And they may dread the boredom. After all, these youth think, how could church be anything but boring?

But it IS anything but boring. My family loves church (kids included)! It’s where we go to fill ourselves with the word of God. To learn how to live our life amidst all the growing troubles in the world, in our communities, and in our lives. Where we can fellowship with other believers, who also experience trials and tribulations, and who love us and accept us no matter our short-comings. (So despite church not being about making us feel better, it’s invariably one of the many positive side-effects).

And a real blessing for my kids is being able to relate to other kids who are also learning Christian values through Sunday school, and for my oldest, through a weekend youth retreat each year called Conclaves. These weekend camps are organized and led by youth, specifically for middle and senior high school kids. They learn and grow in their love of God and one another through small group discussions, and they enjoy leisure time, adventure opportunities, and even a concert.

My kids are comfortable attending church and even weekend outings with area youth. It will be up to them what they do with their spirituality when they are older and on their own. As adults, they will decide whether or not to attend church (I rarely attended church once I was an adult until I had children of my own). But at least they have a foundation on which to thrive, to build and base their decisions. That’s about all I can give them.

Where do I Draw the Line?

Being a parent isn’t always easy; heck, it’s rarely easy. Especially, I think, when we talk about teenagers. One challenge is knowing where to draw the line between letting kids make their own decisions (and mistakes), versus stepping in and laying down the law. Here’s an example.

My oldest daughter, God bless her, is focused on and determined to get as much college completed in high school as possible. This so she will have less time needed to complete her education after high school, thus saving her parents lots of money in tuition, and lessening her need for student loans, etc. And whatever else may be her motivation (she’s a very private person), she is strong-minded and resolved. She attends an Early College High School.

The curriculum and homework by itself is enough to be rigorous to most kids, but she also participates in competitive gymnastics. She is a level 7 optional gymnast. Which means she practices – a lot!

It is the combination of both that is my worry, as it is too heavy a load. Staying up until 2am to get it all done isn’t the answer, as she is becoming more and more sleep deprived, and I worry that she will injure herself or become sick. So as a parent, where do I draw the line?

I admire her tenacity to get a good education and I feel proud that she is so dedicated. And while I don’t think gymnastics is as crucial as her education, it is still important. She’s building strength, flexibility, and coordination, and it is a physical release for her of some of the stresses in her life. She also LOVES it.

So how do I respond to this situation when I see the toil this heavy load takes on her life? Do I suggest she go to an easier school that will still provide her a good education? Or do I tell her to back off of gymnastics and not worry about her competitions? Do I insist in one or the other? Where exactly is that parenting line – where I let her make her own decisions versus where I step in and make the decision for her?

I want to be a supportive, loving parent that does the right thing for my kids. I just wish it were easier to know exactly what that is.

Your Story - A Poem

Recently, my daughter was given an assignment to write a poem following the format of the Mother to Son poem by Langston Hughes. The theme was "life" and metaphor was required. What she wrote is so beautiful, that I had to share it here.

Your Story

by Katherine Tuttle

Well, Grace, I'll tell you:
Life is your story written in ink.
It has misspelled words,
And pages missing.
There will be times when you don't know what to write,
And there will be times when your pen runs out of ink -
Dry.
But don't quit writing.
I've been correcting my mistakes,
And I've been turning and filling up my pages.
Keep writing because if you do,
You will be able to cross out your mistakes, or tear out the page,
And start the chapter over again.
Grace, don't stop writing.
Don't let the jumbled sentences get in your way.
Keep going.
Don't let your story be unfinished.
Don't put your pen down yet
Because your story is still ahead of you.
That is life, your story written in ink.

My Kids Can’t Have Everything – Learning to Say No

As much as it is important that our kids learn the lesson that they can't have everything, I think that is an equally important lesson for me (and other parents). My kids can't have everything. Let's face it, most of us would do anything to give more to our kids and to enable them to be involved in the activities we all deem so important.

Our desire for our kids is strong. We want them to be socially accepted, get and have the same things as their friends, wear new clothes, have the latest gadgets, participate in extracurricular activities, become well-rounded, and have the same opportunities as their peers.

Now these are tough economic times. And I'm at the point where I am working in essence three jobs to keep our current standard of living – which isn't much of a standard if I say so myself. It's all about paying for the kids activities and needs. My husband and I have essentially put our needs and wants on hold, which I imagine is far more common than some people would have you believe.

Recently, I said 'no' to my daughter's request to add soccer to our already busy schedule. She had assumed we would acquiesce to her playing soccer since she has played for the past several seasons. But we did not. We've decided not to add another activity, rather we are asking that she choose between her current activity of karate, or soccer – but she isn't doing both.

And she nearly cried because she loves them both. And of course, I want her to be able to do both, but I really need to be firm on this one for a couple of reasons.

First, adding soccer simply makes life far too busy, and we've been doing it for years now. Every spring and fall she signs up for the recreation soccer team and she has a blast. And I have to admit, we enjoy going to the games also, watching her play and grow in her skills, and in socializing with the other parents. But, adding practice one or two nights a week and a game each week on Saturday is completely impractical (I did previously mention three jobs, didn't I?). It's just too much.

Secondly, the cost. While soccer is relatively inexpensive compared to other choices kids have today, it still isn't free. And after the modest registration/sign-up fee, you still have the cost of soccer cleats, shin guards, ball, etc., unless we get lucky and one of the items still fits from last year. We don't usually get that lucky though. Plus the costs of providing snacks for the team when it's your turn.

So, while this is hard as hell for me, I plan to stick to my guns. I think saying no to your kid sometimes is harder on the parent than on the kid.

I often say that kids get too much today, but I don't think the blame can reside solely on the kid. They are young and learning the ways of this world. In their innocence and hope they ask for lots of things they want. That's natural. But it is us parents that don't say no that we should blame. I wish I could give my kids the world, but the better gift to give might just be the realization that nobody gets everything.

Passing the Time

But what minutes!  Count them by sensation, and not by calendars, and each moment is a day.  

~Benjamin Disraeli

It is true that time passes quicker when you keep busy.

Here's a little of what we have done these past few weeks that has helped make the time pass while my daughter has been away at Girl Scout camp. A pictoral review.

We danced!

 

Sometimes a little crazy . . .

Grace helped make a funny commercial!

Good high kick!

 Doing her bo staff kata.

A new belt earned! Way to go.

It's been a quick couple weeks, yet long too, and I am very much looking forward to my daughter's return home! I can't wait to see her and hear about her trip.

Letting Go - Kids Under Construction

One thing I think everyone can agree on, parenting is hard work. Oh, sometimes you'll see someone who is a natural when it comes to parenting; they seem to always have the right answer to every dilemma that presents itself and the perfect solution for familial harmony. I remember my Aunt soothing my infant baby so effortlessly – a natural if ever I saw one. And some parents know just how to instill responsibility in their children – almost instinctively.

But they are the rarities.

As with many folks, my experience with parenting has been learned on the job, and frankly, I've made some mistakes. Sometimes I come out the wiser, but other times it's a lesson needing relearned. And one of the most difficult aspects of parenting for me is letting go.

Let me explain.

If kids just came with a guarantee, that would be swell. Guaranteed to grow to a ripe old age, stay healthy, with no broken bones and scraped knees, no problems with drug abuse or worries about crime – well, parents would be free to let their kids do and go just about anywhere (they would still need to look out for their spiritual health, but that's for another discussion).

This may sound crazy, but I remember the first time some neighborhood kids came to the door asking if my kids could go outside and play. Up until then, I had scheduled all of their play dates. It threw me for a loop and I believe I even stuttered. My kids go outside and play? With other kids that I didn't know well (we were new to the neighborhood)? Without me? But I did let them go out and play.

I think it's important to let go. Let them live and try not to be too overly protective – you know, swallow that lump of worry and try not to fret. Kids are still under construction, and it's important they have real life experiences.

So I do let my kids go to sleepovers and weekend camping trips. They can walk or ride their bike to school, play outside, and generally do most of the things I did growing up, with some exceptions to accommodate for this different day and age.

But this most recent experience of letting go is harder. One of my kids is going away this summer. To camp, far away, and for two weeks. As the time draws nearer, I can't help but think about how much I will miss her and how much I will worry. I'll worry if she packed everything she needs, if she's feeling OK, and if it's warm enough or too hot. I'll wonder if she's made friends and is having fun. I'll fret about whether she's eating well, if she took enough money, or if she experiences difficulties at the airport.

And I will celebrate when she comes home.

Ultimately, I know this is a good and tremendous growth experience for her and I am delighted she is going. And bottom line – I trust her and I know she has a good head on her shoulders.

I wish her a wonderful time!

Choose Words Wisely - A Parental Responsibility

In his post, Guard your children's spiritual growth, Author Rick Warren shares how the words we use make a huge impact on our children, and can either hurt or heal. This is an excellent post on our responsibility as parents to be mindful of the words we choose when speaking to our kids. We can build up or we can tear down, and it's important we choose words that affirm our kids and let them know they are loved and valued.

Here's the link. . .
Guard your children's spiritual growth

I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Christmas International House - Day 13 and 14; Happy New Year & Farewell

Day 13 – Happy New Year
Traditionally, we take down our Christmas tree on New Year’s Day, and this year is no exception. Being a believer that today sets the “tone” for the year to come, I take time to write a blog post and work on some ongoing writing projects. My husband works around the house, and the kids and Ren Zhe hang out, play the Wii and other games, and everyone enjoys their day.

Day 14 – Farewell
We will miss our new and dear friend, Ren Zhe. Today we took her to the Greyhound bus station. While the CIH program kept us all very busy, it wasn’t overwhelmingly so (well, at least not most of the time), and we had a wonderful and special holiday as a result.

Christmas International House
A Holiday of Friendship with International Students
This year in Houston, students were turned away due to the lack of participating host families. CIH is a wonderful program that I recommend, and it occurs in several major cities throughout the country. Please check it out and consider participating. My family and I benefited and learned so much . . . about the Chinese culture, our differences and similarities, traditions . . . we shared stories, played games, had lots of laughs . . . it really can’t all be put into words.

Christmas International House - Day 11 and 12; Food and Trivia

Day 11 – Market Day
As we near the end of the CIH program, today the International students go to an Asian market to pick up supplies for the dishes they are preparing for the International Luncheon.  Since I have a lot of catch-up work to do after playing yesterday, another host family graciously agrees to pick up Ren Zhe at the end of their shopping trip, and let her hang out a few hours during the afternoon.

I'm feeling down. We've kept so busy throughout the holidays that I've missed having time with my mom and dad, and my sister and her boys. Isn't the holiday season supposed to be warmly shared with family?

Day 12 – Farewell and International Luncheon
Held at a church, each International student prepares a favorite dish from their native country to serve to the host families. Ren Zhe fixes a tomato and egg soup, as well as a pork and tofu dish made with a spicy bean sauce. It is delicious and my favorite. We enjoy the foods prepared by all the students. What a feast!

There is a Trivia game / Yankee gift exchange for the International students. First, they must answer a trivia question correct, then they can pick an unopened gift or select one that has already been picked and unwrapped.  All the students select new gifts (are they trying to spare feelings?) until it gets to Ren Zhe. She very happily “steals” a rice cooker and presents it to us, her host family, as a gift. That’s re-gifting made simple and very nice! Thank you Ren Zhe, and we are so enjoying our rice cooker.

* * * * *

Here is one trivia question that stumped everyone in the group – Americans included! Let’s see how you do (send me an email with your answer and I will reply - click on the "contact" button at the top of this page). But no cheating and looking it up! No electronic devices or computers allowed – we didn’t have them for the game and neither can you!

Who was inaugurated President of the United Sates in 1789?

Christmas International House - Day 10; Downtown Houston

Day 10
Woo hoo! This day I’ve been looking forward to for some time, as it is the day my daughters and I participate with the International students in their daytime events, and later my husband is joining us for the evening entertainment – a Rockets basketball game (and my first professional basketball game ever)!

It is fabulously fun, despite the gray skies and intermittent rain. We take a Metro train ride from the Theater district to downtown Houston where our first stop is the City of Houston Visitors Center at City Hall. We watch a short video clip on Houston and browse their shop and displays, then move on to the Niels and Mellie Esperson buildings with their beautiful Italian Renaissance architecture.

The Niels Esperson building is one of the oldest skyscrapers in Houston. As part of our tour, we ride the elevators to the 28th floor, then walk the remaining four floors to the open cupola at the top overlooking the city. This part of the building is not open to the public, and it is special indeed. We even get to see Mellie Esperson’s office, untouched and preserved as it was “back then.”

Next stop, the 60th floor of the Chase bank building where we see magnificent city views. From here, we actually look down to see the top of the Niels Esperson building.

Oh, and I almost forgot our yummy lunch. We eat in the downtown tunnels at Treebeards, another first for me and a place I will highly recommend.

We arrive at the Toyota Center for a tour of the facility, and then finally, the Rockets game!

What can I say? Ren Zhe is such a huge fan of the Rockets because of Yao Ming. She expects that even her father in China will watch the game, so we are all very excited and happy for her.  We have our faces painted to show our support of the Rockets and enjoy a wonderful victory over the New Orleans Hornets. A great ending to an already perfect day!

Christmas International House - Day 9; Stressing

Day 9
I hate to whine, really I do, but I’m afraid that’s what's happening today. It’s back to another tension filled short holiday work week. Another short time span to get the full week of hours in – yea me.  What’s more, I even plan to take one workday off this week to partake in the CIH program activities.

Since I’m shortening my 3 ½ day work week to 2 ½ - 3 days, I start work today around 7:00 a.m., stopping only to take Ren Zhe to the drop off point, then back to work. I’m happy today’s program includes both a lunch and dinner for the students at different churches, freeing me to work a little later.

The International students take a Blue Bell Creamery tour, then spend a fun-filled day riding go-karts, playing mini-golf, and more.  The church hosting their evening meal provides Mexican food and a piñata for the students to break open afterward. Ren Zhe brings home a piece of candy for both my daughters from the piñata.

While I love the CIH program, I wonder about future participation as it feels we’ve been so busy. And since I feel I’ve been neglecting the kids, I’m very grateful for the Wii the kids received at Christmas. Hmm. Not feeling like a good mother.

Christmas International House - Day 7; A New Bear to Love

Day 7
We are now one week into the CIH program and getting to know Ren Zhe very well. She is bright and funny, and we all love having her around.

Call us daring if you will, but today we brave the crowds and take Ren Zhe to the mall. Well, almost all of us do. My husband opts instead to stay home, as he isn’t much of a shopper and particularly not on a busy day. But alas, the crowds aren’t all that bad and we find some super bargains.

Ren Zhe experiences Build-A-Bear for the first time as my youngest uses a Christmas gift certificate to create a new bear to love.

Christmas International House - Day 5 and 6; Christmas

Day 5 – Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve consists of dinner at my sister’s house, followed by a candlelight worship service at Woodforest Presbyterian Church. Our family tradition is to open one gift on Christmas Eve. For our kids, the gift is always pajamas so they have something new to wear on Christmas morning. For Ren Zhe, we give her a soft and fuzzy pair of socks with Shea Butter from Bath & Body Works.

Day 6 – Christmas Day
We spend Christmas Day at my mother’s house and enjoy good food and great company. The kids play games, and as always, Ren Zhe is an enthusiastic participant. She teaches them a card game she plays in China, and they call it "slaps" since Ren Zhe isn't sure the American name.

Today, I am surprised by Ren Zhe's intuitiveness. We play the game, Loaded Questions, and on one of the questions she very easily answers correctly that "too much to do" is one of my worries. I guess I am pretty transparent when it comes to stress.

I also learn that many of the people of Shanghai, China are Buddhist. There are many Buddha, unlike Christianity which has just one God. Taught to live a good life, Buddhist believe what they do in this lifetime determines what they will become in their next life, or rebirth. The worst is to come back as a bull or a horse, since everything is packed on their backs.

In Shanghai, people may get together to celebrate Christmas but it typically only involves dinner and well wishes for a happy Christmas. It has no religious significance. Christmas trees and decorations are not usually used in the homes and most people work, as it is not a major holiday.

Merry Christmas! While I'm not so sure I've done a good job preparing my heart during the Advent season, I am happy to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ with my family and loved ones, and with our new friend Ren Zhe, from China.

Christmas International House - Day 2; Freedoms

Day 2
OK, I’ll admit it. I’m already beginning to question how I’m going to get my job done. During our CIH student’s two-week stay, my husband and I both still have to work. Somehow, I’ve got to get five days worth of work done in three days because of the holidays, and also take time to drop off and pick up our student at the various planned events. What was I thinking when I signed us up for this?

I take Ren Zhe to the drop off point, a 50-minute drive without traffic, and a $6 toll, each way. Fortunately, the students’ schedule is long today and includes dinner at a church, so the rest of the day is mine to work.

It proved worth every minute, as we all enjoyed hearing Ren Zhe’s accounting of her day. They toured NASA and got to meet an astronaut who has been to the International Space Station and will be going again very soon. Considered a celebrity in China, it is a special event indeed to meet and speak with an Astronaut for Ren Zhe.

I ask Ren Zhe is she has siblings, and learn she is an only child. China has a one-child policy. I had heard that before and should have remembered, but it seems such a foreign concept to me – having a government policy in place that says how many children you can have.

I feel lucky and blessed to have the freedoms we enjoy in our country.

Kids are a Lot Like Cats and Dogs or "But That's Not Fair"

There are cat people and dog people, then there are those that love both. I fall in the latter category, loving both cats and dogs (and birds, and hermit crabs, and fish, and . . . well, you get the picture. But that is another post). The funny thing is, you may love cats and dogs equally, but you care for them differently. And rightfully so, as they have very distinct needs.

Kids are a lot like cars and dogs. No, not just in the ruckus that often results when put together, particularly in close quarters. Rest assured, even though cats and dogs are supposedly mortal enemies, they can learn to live together in harmony, and so can your kids. But even with the same parents and consistent environmental influences, kids can be very dissimilar.

My own, for instance, are both girls with brown hair. That just about ends the similarity. One likes to dress up and make herself pretty, the other is more comfortable in a pair of torn jeans. One eats a well-balanced diet complete with vegetables of all colors and textures, while the other prefers a diet rich in carbohydrates and sugars. One prefers pushing herself for individual bests, while the other enjoys contributing to team efforts. Should I go on?

The point is, they are each individual and thus, I treat them differently. One child might need more reminders and dare I say "nagging" to get things done, while the other might be more of a self-starter. How many times have I heard, "but that's not fair" or "but you let my sister."

Truth told, if being fair means treating your kids the same, then I'll admit it, I'm not fair when it comes to my kids. I don't always treat them alike, and I do allow liberties at varying levels. But what is fair is how much I love both of them. That's what I want them to know more than anything. That even when things don't feel "fair" and they feel life (and their mom) is treating them unequally - the love I have for both of them is immense. I guess that's about the best we can do as parents.

A Service Project - Cookies and Goodnight

Like most everyone I know, I've donated items, helped with food drives, and contributed monetarily to worthwhile causes. I've very proudly espoused my daughters' service endeavors too, like Locks of Love ponytail donations and Lake Houston cleanup efforts. But this most recent event gave me a very meaningful one-on-one experience of handing the “gift” directly to the recipient.

Our Brownie Girl Scout troop recently participated in a program called “Cookies and Goodnight” at the Star of Hope in Houston. The Star of Hope is a Christ-centered mission dedicated to the homeless. They offer a comprehensive approach to addressing both immediate (food/shelter) and long-term (education/employment) issues of the homeless. “Cookies and Goodnight” is a program whereby volunteers provide an evening snack for the residents living at their Transitional Living Center.

Because we volunteered and served on a Saturday, there were many residents absent on weekend passes. Others were attending classes, so we didn’t have the expected 250 or so residents show up for the evening snack. What we did have though was a tremendously grateful and appreciative group of mostly mothers and children.

The “thanks” we heard were sincere and plentiful. These people so appreciated our cookies and milk, some of them coming up and asking for a second serving. Something so simple meant so much to them, and it made me mindful of my own abundance and blessings.

As we gather together with family and friends across the country this Thursday to celebrate and give thanks, let us not forget those less fortunate. I’m glad to have participated in this program, particularly that my kids were able to share the experience, and I look forward to my next service opportunity. Happy Thanksgiving! What are some of your most meaningful volunteer experiences?

Making the Most of Your Parent-Teacher Conference

Having just completed a parent-teacher conference, these tips are fresh in mind to help make the most of your conference time.

• First off - go. I've heard some parents claim they do not need to have a parent-teacher conference because their child is doing so well in school. It may be true that you won't have a lot to talk about then, but not going at all sends the wrong message to the kids (and their teachers). Schooling your children is a joint effort between teacher and parents, so at the least, the parent needs to show up.
• Talk to your kids first. Find out if they are experiencing any problems at school, whether it be in the classroom or outside, or if they have any questions or concerns.
• Make a list. Write down questions you want to ask the teacher as you think of them and prior to the conference, then take the list with you. The teacher has set aside this time to talk to you specifically, so make sure you get all your questions answered.
• Be on time. I can't tell you how many times I've had to wait for my conference because the teacher was behind schedule. This is usually due to someone being late for a conference earlier in the day, setting the whole schedule behind.
• Make an action plan if necessary. Make sure you leave the conference with a clear understanding of any action you need to take at home to reinforce your child's learning at school.
  

Like most of us, teachers are busier than ever. Planning in advance will help maximize your time, as well as the teacher's, helping to ensure the best education for your child.

What are some of the things you do to prepare for a parent-teacher conference?

Kids and Social Networking - What's the Right Age?

Although social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have reported flattened growth (perhaps due to more choices and users getting picky), there is no doubt that social networking is flourishing. Just like the telephone changed the world, followed by email, now we have numerous more ways to connect and communicate.

Most social networking sites have minimum age requirements for setting up a profile. Facebook requires it's users to be 13 years old, and MySpace has similar requirements. But more and more users are ignoring those requirements and setting up profiles at younger ages.

So what's a parent to do? My own kids ask about opening an account. I tell them they need to wait until they meet the minimum age requirements, all the while their friends are socializing on these sites. I figure there must be reasoning behind the minimum age requirements, but is there? Is there some inherent risk to having a Facebook profile that is no longer prevalent when the child turns 13?

Here are some interesting articles on social media growth and statistics, and kids usage of these networking sites.

STATS: Facebook and Twitter’s Growth Flattens

Social Networking - ProCon.org

Social networks and kids: How young is too young? - CNN.com

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Ever Deserve the Bad Parent Award?

Parenting is hard work, and we all make mistakes. This week, I truly earned and I deserve the bad parent award. Let me tell you what happened.

It was late arrival day for middle school, but instead of sleeping in, my daughter had Girl Scouts. I dropped her off for her meeting, and then headed home. She left her backpack in the car so she would have it for school, and I left the garage door open when I got home since it was a quick turnaround. I only had about an hour before I needed to leave to pick up her cousin for school, and then back to the Girl Scout meeting to get my daughter.

Once home, I settled in for a chat with my mother-in-law, who is visiting from Boston. We made a fresh pot of coffee and enjoyed talking about various current events as reported on the morning news. Then I retreated to my office to begin my day, starting as I usually do by responding to email. Gradually I finished that up, and began making my new business calls.

I could hear my mother-in-law moving about and getting ready to take the dog on a walk. She got the leash out and the dog jumped around in excitement. The home phone rang a time or two, but as always, I let those calls go to machine since I was on my business line and on client time.

Later, I took a quick shower to get ready for a lunch out with my mother-in-law. It was in the shower that it dawned on me. I FORGOT THE KIDS! I jumped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around me, and ran down the hall dripping wet. "I forgot the kids," I yelled repeatedly.

My mother-in-law must have thought I was a nut, standing there dripping with only a towel, but I had to find out right away if they made it to school. Fortunately, my sister had plumbing problems that morning, so she was home from work and took her son to school (sorry to say that was fortunate, Sis, but they say things happen for a reason). My own daughter was dropped off at school by the Girl Scout leader, who also kindly gave her paper, pen, and lunch money (remember, her backpack was in my car).

What a horrible mom to forget her kids. I felt awful, and still do. When I dropped the backpack at school, my daughter's first words were, "Where were you?" She was so upset. I apologized, but what could I say? It was stupidity and forgetfulness on my part. While she was clearly displeased, she did seem to forgive me somewhat when she heard that I had forgotten her cousin too. At least it wasn't just her I forgot!

I had worried everyone, and for this I am truly sorry. I have no excuse, although some say it is because I keep too busy a schedule.

I love my children so very much, and would never do anything to hurt them. So, how bad a mom am I? I honestly can't think of much worse than forgetting to pick up your kid. How long before I can reclaim good mom status? Has anything like this happened with you? Please share your stories in the comments.

Our Kids and Self-esteem

This video has been around for awhile, but I think it says a lot. It's amazing the powerful effect of marketing and advertising, especially on our kids. My gymnast daughter works out approximately 15 hours per week, and has worried that certain clothes make her look fat. Believe me, she doesn't have an ounce of fat on her!



We are surrounded by a world of flawless beauty - TV, billboards, magazines, the internet. How do you combat all these messages portraying "perfect" looks and help build self-esteem, particularly in our pre-teen and teen girls?