Texting While Driving

I remember when they passed seat belt laws in Texas. I reluctantly got in the habit of buckling up. But it was a good thing, and if the law weren’t in place today, I would still buckle up. After all, it makes the possibility of my surviving an accident so much higher. It helps me, and my passengers who also buckle up, be safer. So while my buckling up may not do much for you, it’s good for me, and I’m happy to oblige.

It's odd that we have seat belt laws in 49 states, drunk driving laws in 50 states, yet there are very limited texting while driving laws. To me, texting while driving more resembles drunk drinking than it does seat belt usage, and should be treated similarly.

Seat belts protect passengers, but they do nothing to prevent accidents. Texting while driving endangers passengers and causes accidents (like drunk driving does). So it seems weird that most states have a law that requires you protect yourself (seat belt), but they don’t have a law that prevents you from injuring others (texting). Or if there is a law, it’s limited, such as no usage around a school zone or with passengers in the car under age 17.

Also odd, almost everyone I talk with agrees that texting is bad while driving and claim not to do it. Yet it only takes a few miles down the road to see that’s clearly not the case. People text and drive a lot! What can possibly be so important in that 160 character message to risk lives?

I wonder if some day there will be a law completely banning texting while driving? Who knows, but in the meantime, I can tell everyone I know not to text and drive. And I urge you to do the same. Texting while driving is bad for everyone, and not only endangers the lives of those texting, but the innocent victims that are hit as a result. And sometimes the accident is so bad, that even the seat belt isn’t going to save you.

Learning to Give

For those of you who read this blog regularly, you know that I recently posted a review on the book 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life by Cami Walker (read that review here), and that I subsequently signed up for the 29 gifts challenge myself. I am now 2 weeks into that challenge and I’d like to share some observations and thoughts.

First off, the challenge hasn’t proven to be life changing or anything drastic like that. At least not so far. But what it has done is helped me to realize two things. First, I discovered that I already was a giver (albeit small gifts typically). It didn’t take long into the challenge to realize my gifts tend to be things I do for people, rather than items purchased and gifted. Like preparing or sharing a special dinner, or doing things for people (typing, giving small change when needed, taking time to spend with loved ones, etc.).

Secondly, it has helped me open my eyes and to look more for opportunities to gift and give. While I still need help in this area and sometimes I swear I have on blinders, this challenge has helped simply by getting me in the habit of thinking about giving on a daily basis.

There hasn’t been a gift that stands out above the others. In fact, one of my most recent gifting highlights is prior to my taking this challenge. We were leaving church one Sunday, and on the corner stood a man, begging. Now so often, I’m embarrassed to admit this, I drive by, wondering if that person has a true need or if they are using the money they receive for drugs or alcohol. I mean, how does one know?

But that Sunday we stopped. We gave the man $3, and a baggy of cookies and brownies we had with us in the car. Not much. But his smile and gratitude was immeasurable. I figure it would buy the man a hamburger at the nearby McDonald’s and give him a sweet treat. And whether his need was legitimate or not, it felt good to help and offer something. And really, who am I to judge his need?

While I don’t often have cash on me (or cookies and brownies), I do typically have spare change, and I hope to become a more giving and less judging person. And I think daily practice and looking for opportunities to give will help. The 29 gifts challenge is really a great movement, and I invite and encourage everyone interested to read the book and sign up for the challenge. I can’t imagine anyone would be disappointed.

Deliberate Contemplation

Yesterday I enjoyed a little outdoors. I pulled a few weeds from around some of the vegetable plants, and took pleasure in the fresh air, good dirt, and sunshine. I didn’t pull nearly all the weeds, but a few of the larger offenders anyway, and more for enjoyment versus actually making any progress. It was truly to take a break from my busy day.

The great outdoors, the quiet, the peace – I love it! Certainly not a luxury I experience often. Hectic schedules, multitasking to get everything done, and electronic intrusions (smartphones) are more the norm around here, and I suspect for most people anyway. Life is so busy and fast-paced. And it’s really a shame.

I wonder what all this busy-ness is doing to our kids. With all the technology, gadgets, and devices they are growing up with, will they even know how to relax? Fully scheduled calendars, vibrating smartphones, uploading photo’s to Facebook, and doing homework between texts is unfortunately our kids “normal.” Certainly all this new technology makes being connected much easier, but what’s it doing for our downtime? Do our kids even have any downtime?

It is good to slow down, and even stop now and then. To be quiet. Listen. Observe. And to feel connected.

The story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42 says it best:

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

I confess, if Jesus were my guest, I would probably be more like Martha. Jesus is here, I would think, I must prepare a magnificent meal. And only the best would do. I would get busy searching my pantry and garden for the freshest foods available. I’d wash the fine china to serve the meal. Then I’d cook, using only the finest ingredients. And like Martha, I’d be very jealous of my sister, who wasn’t helping, but chose instead to spend time with Jesus.

But that’s just it. Mary chose to spend time with Jesus. And it’s our choice too what we do with our time. Perhaps we should learn from Mary, and let go of our anxiousness and troubles, our busy and hectic lifestyles, and listen for and draw closer to God. Throughout his life, even Jesus took time to be alone in prayer. Sending his disciples ahead of him or retreating to a mountain, He would often withdraw to pray. His life is an example of how we are to live ours.

Today’s lifestyle doesn’t lend well to teaching our kids how to slow down or relax. Rather it’s all about multitasking and achieving more in less time. So as parents, it’s up to us to live our lives as examples. This means spending less time worrying over what is left to be done, and more time in stillness and deliberate contemplation. Not an easy task in everyday life, but one well worth the effort.

When Bad Things Happen

We all experience problems in life, both personally and as a society. Maybe you’ve experienced the loss of a job, a loved one, or your home. Maybe you have a boss that is so mean you can’t stand the thought of another days work. Perhaps your health is failing, or you’ve lost money in the stock market, or ______. You fill in the blank. We all have them.

As a society, our problems are no better.  In this world we have people dying of starvation. There is crime and corruption. War.

Plenty of reason to complain. Justification to lift our fists in anger and blame God. For some, it’s enough to even doubt that God exists.

Remember though - we were given free will. And if we look hard enough, we will find that most of the time, the blame for our calamities and problems can be traced back not to God, but to us. Poor choices, hatred, bigotry, greed, indifference – these are usually the culprits and cause of our grief, not God.

Look around you. Humankind has been blessed with a world of abundance[1] and beauty. But yes, bad things happen, even to good people. That doesn't mean God doesn't exist, nor does it mean God is to blame.

Remember when you were a kid riding in the backseat of the car and started whining. Your parents told you to be quiet, but you kept on whining and kept on, until finally your dad shouted that he’d give you something to cry about. Well, maybe God gets tired of hearing us all complain too. How about we look for the joy and beauty (because it is there), and offer our thanksgiving instead on this trip called life.

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[1] According to numerous authorities on hunger, including Poverty.com and LifeNews.com, there is plenty of food to go around. It’s just up to us to see that it’s distributed.

Your Story - A Poem

Recently, my daughter was given an assignment to write a poem following the format of the Mother to Son poem by Langston Hughes. The theme was "life" and metaphor was required. What she wrote is so beautiful, that I had to share it here.

Your Story

by Katherine Tuttle

Well, Grace, I'll tell you:
Life is your story written in ink.
It has misspelled words,
And pages missing.
There will be times when you don't know what to write,
And there will be times when your pen runs out of ink -
Dry.
But don't quit writing.
I've been correcting my mistakes,
And I've been turning and filling up my pages.
Keep writing because if you do,
You will be able to cross out your mistakes, or tear out the page,
And start the chapter over again.
Grace, don't stop writing.
Don't let the jumbled sentences get in your way.
Keep going.
Don't let your story be unfinished.
Don't put your pen down yet
Because your story is still ahead of you.
That is life, your story written in ink.

Failures are Life's Lessons

It is through failure that we learn valuable lessons which ultimately lead to success. Don't be afraid of failure - it is but a stepping stone. Be more afraid of the lack of failure.

Christmas International House - Day 13 and 14; Happy New Year & Farewell

Day 13 – Happy New Year
Traditionally, we take down our Christmas tree on New Year’s Day, and this year is no exception. Being a believer that today sets the “tone” for the year to come, I take time to write a blog post and work on some ongoing writing projects. My husband works around the house, and the kids and Ren Zhe hang out, play the Wii and other games, and everyone enjoys their day.

Day 14 – Farewell
We will miss our new and dear friend, Ren Zhe. Today we took her to the Greyhound bus station. While the CIH program kept us all very busy, it wasn’t overwhelmingly so (well, at least not most of the time), and we had a wonderful and special holiday as a result.

Christmas International House
A Holiday of Friendship with International Students
This year in Houston, students were turned away due to the lack of participating host families. CIH is a wonderful program that I recommend, and it occurs in several major cities throughout the country. Please check it out and consider participating. My family and I benefited and learned so much . . . about the Chinese culture, our differences and similarities, traditions . . . we shared stories, played games, had lots of laughs . . . it really can’t all be put into words.

Christmas International House - Day 11 and 12; Food and Trivia

Day 11 – Market Day
As we near the end of the CIH program, today the International students go to an Asian market to pick up supplies for the dishes they are preparing for the International Luncheon.  Since I have a lot of catch-up work to do after playing yesterday, another host family graciously agrees to pick up Ren Zhe at the end of their shopping trip, and let her hang out a few hours during the afternoon.

I'm feeling down. We've kept so busy throughout the holidays that I've missed having time with my mom and dad, and my sister and her boys. Isn't the holiday season supposed to be warmly shared with family?

Day 12 – Farewell and International Luncheon
Held at a church, each International student prepares a favorite dish from their native country to serve to the host families. Ren Zhe fixes a tomato and egg soup, as well as a pork and tofu dish made with a spicy bean sauce. It is delicious and my favorite. We enjoy the foods prepared by all the students. What a feast!

There is a Trivia game / Yankee gift exchange for the International students. First, they must answer a trivia question correct, then they can pick an unopened gift or select one that has already been picked and unwrapped.  All the students select new gifts (are they trying to spare feelings?) until it gets to Ren Zhe. She very happily “steals” a rice cooker and presents it to us, her host family, as a gift. That’s re-gifting made simple and very nice! Thank you Ren Zhe, and we are so enjoying our rice cooker.

* * * * *

Here is one trivia question that stumped everyone in the group – Americans included! Let’s see how you do (send me an email with your answer and I will reply - click on the "contact" button at the top of this page). But no cheating and looking it up! No electronic devices or computers allowed – we didn’t have them for the game and neither can you!

Who was inaugurated President of the United Sates in 1789?

Christmas International House - Day 10; Downtown Houston

Day 10
Woo hoo! This day I’ve been looking forward to for some time, as it is the day my daughters and I participate with the International students in their daytime events, and later my husband is joining us for the evening entertainment – a Rockets basketball game (and my first professional basketball game ever)!

It is fabulously fun, despite the gray skies and intermittent rain. We take a Metro train ride from the Theater district to downtown Houston where our first stop is the City of Houston Visitors Center at City Hall. We watch a short video clip on Houston and browse their shop and displays, then move on to the Niels and Mellie Esperson buildings with their beautiful Italian Renaissance architecture.

The Niels Esperson building is one of the oldest skyscrapers in Houston. As part of our tour, we ride the elevators to the 28th floor, then walk the remaining four floors to the open cupola at the top overlooking the city. This part of the building is not open to the public, and it is special indeed. We even get to see Mellie Esperson’s office, untouched and preserved as it was “back then.”

Next stop, the 60th floor of the Chase bank building where we see magnificent city views. From here, we actually look down to see the top of the Niels Esperson building.

Oh, and I almost forgot our yummy lunch. We eat in the downtown tunnels at Treebeards, another first for me and a place I will highly recommend.

We arrive at the Toyota Center for a tour of the facility, and then finally, the Rockets game!

What can I say? Ren Zhe is such a huge fan of the Rockets because of Yao Ming. She expects that even her father in China will watch the game, so we are all very excited and happy for her.  We have our faces painted to show our support of the Rockets and enjoy a wonderful victory over the New Orleans Hornets. A great ending to an already perfect day!

Christmas International House - Day 9; Stressing

Day 9
I hate to whine, really I do, but I’m afraid that’s what's happening today. It’s back to another tension filled short holiday work week. Another short time span to get the full week of hours in – yea me.  What’s more, I even plan to take one workday off this week to partake in the CIH program activities.

Since I’m shortening my 3 ½ day work week to 2 ½ - 3 days, I start work today around 7:00 a.m., stopping only to take Ren Zhe to the drop off point, then back to work. I’m happy today’s program includes both a lunch and dinner for the students at different churches, freeing me to work a little later.

The International students take a Blue Bell Creamery tour, then spend a fun-filled day riding go-karts, playing mini-golf, and more.  The church hosting their evening meal provides Mexican food and a piñata for the students to break open afterward. Ren Zhe brings home a piece of candy for both my daughters from the piñata.

While I love the CIH program, I wonder about future participation as it feels we’ve been so busy. And since I feel I’ve been neglecting the kids, I’m very grateful for the Wii the kids received at Christmas. Hmm. Not feeling like a good mother.

Christmas International House - Day 8; Sleeping

Day 8
Today the CIH program resumes with a play at The Ensemble Theatre in downtown Houston, one of our nation’s largest and oldest professional African American theatres. The play is Christmas with Great Aunt, a contemporary gospel celebrating family. Because the play is on Sunday, the whole family is able to participate in this program event, following church and a nice lunch at our neighborhood Country Club.

I must admit, many of the International students were not able to follow the play because the ethnic accents of the actors were too difficult for the students to understand. Overall, I think most of them got the gist of the play and enjoyed the music at a minimum. We lost a few of the students to slumber, however.

I unfortunately end the evening with a huge headache and head to bed as soon as we get home. I guess it's a day for sleeping.

Christmas International House - Day 7; A New Bear to Love

Day 7
We are now one week into the CIH program and getting to know Ren Zhe very well. She is bright and funny, and we all love having her around.

Call us daring if you will, but today we brave the crowds and take Ren Zhe to the mall. Well, almost all of us do. My husband opts instead to stay home, as he isn’t much of a shopper and particularly not on a busy day. But alas, the crowds aren’t all that bad and we find some super bargains.

Ren Zhe experiences Build-A-Bear for the first time as my youngest uses a Christmas gift certificate to create a new bear to love.

Christmas International House - Day 5 and 6; Christmas

Day 5 – Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve consists of dinner at my sister’s house, followed by a candlelight worship service at Woodforest Presbyterian Church. Our family tradition is to open one gift on Christmas Eve. For our kids, the gift is always pajamas so they have something new to wear on Christmas morning. For Ren Zhe, we give her a soft and fuzzy pair of socks with Shea Butter from Bath & Body Works.

Day 6 – Christmas Day
We spend Christmas Day at my mother’s house and enjoy good food and great company. The kids play games, and as always, Ren Zhe is an enthusiastic participant. She teaches them a card game she plays in China, and they call it "slaps" since Ren Zhe isn't sure the American name.

Today, I am surprised by Ren Zhe's intuitiveness. We play the game, Loaded Questions, and on one of the questions she very easily answers correctly that "too much to do" is one of my worries. I guess I am pretty transparent when it comes to stress.

I also learn that many of the people of Shanghai, China are Buddhist. There are many Buddha, unlike Christianity which has just one God. Taught to live a good life, Buddhist believe what they do in this lifetime determines what they will become in their next life, or rebirth. The worst is to come back as a bull or a horse, since everything is packed on their backs.

In Shanghai, people may get together to celebrate Christmas but it typically only involves dinner and well wishes for a happy Christmas. It has no religious significance. Christmas trees and decorations are not usually used in the homes and most people work, as it is not a major holiday.

Merry Christmas! While I'm not so sure I've done a good job preparing my heart during the Advent season, I am happy to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ with my family and loved ones, and with our new friend Ren Zhe, from China.

Christmas International House - Day 3 and 4; Language

Day 3
Today I drop off our student in downtown Houston, which requires a little less time on the road and no tolls. I’m still worrying about getting my work hours in for the week. The drop off is a little later in the morning and there is no dinner planned for the students this evening, so it makes for a short workday.

Today, the International students are visiting the Museum of Fine Arts, Museum of Natural Science, and the Houston Zoo, weather permitting. But the sky is gray and it threatens rain. Everyone hopes the rain will hold off, but they cancel the picnic lunch, just in case.

Since I want to use all the day I can for work, I don’t plan or prepare an evening meal. We decide on KFC, and are pleased that Ren Zhe likes chicken.

After dinner, we play Apples to Apples and I admire Ren Zhe. How difficult it must be to live in a home where the only language spoken is not your first language, yet be willing to participate in word games. We oblige her request to use her electronic Chinese English dictionary. What a very fun evening with lots of laughter.



Day 4
While I am thoroughly enjoying the CIH program and especially our student, Ren Zhe, by now I am also feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work to do in such limited time. Today’s schedule for our student - shopping at Memorial City Mall. This means a later morning drop off and early pick-up as the students have no dinner plans for the evening. And I still have five hours of work to get in.

My wonderful husband comes through for me. He gets home early and starts dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, then offers to pick up Ren Zhe. What a blessing, as I am able to get my work done.

Our evening consists of a movie, Ernest Goes to Camp, which is a corny comedy, but a favorite of the kids. We watch the movie with English subtitles for Ren Zhe, and have another enjoyable night.

Christmas International House - Day 2; Freedoms

Day 2
OK, I’ll admit it. I’m already beginning to question how I’m going to get my job done. During our CIH student’s two-week stay, my husband and I both still have to work. Somehow, I’ve got to get five days worth of work done in three days because of the holidays, and also take time to drop off and pick up our student at the various planned events. What was I thinking when I signed us up for this?

I take Ren Zhe to the drop off point, a 50-minute drive without traffic, and a $6 toll, each way. Fortunately, the students’ schedule is long today and includes dinner at a church, so the rest of the day is mine to work.

It proved worth every minute, as we all enjoyed hearing Ren Zhe’s accounting of her day. They toured NASA and got to meet an astronaut who has been to the International Space Station and will be going again very soon. Considered a celebrity in China, it is a special event indeed to meet and speak with an Astronaut for Ren Zhe.

I ask Ren Zhe is she has siblings, and learn she is an only child. China has a one-child policy. I had heard that before and should have remembered, but it seems such a foreign concept to me – having a government policy in place that says how many children you can have.

I feel lucky and blessed to have the freedoms we enjoy in our country.

Christmas International House - Day 1; Welcome

This year, my family and I participated in Christmas International House (CIH), a program designed to provide homes over the holidays for international students attending stateside universities. Colleges close over the holidays and many students cannot afford to go home. Through the Christian ministry of CIH, host families open their homes to these students, developing friendships, exchanging ideas, and cultivating peace with people from countries with different cultures.

So many people have asked me about the program that I thought I’d share a day-by-day review here on the blog. I hope that it will answer questions for anyone contemplating the program, and provide insight for me as to future participation. I welcome and encourage comments and questions from those seeking more information, or from anyone who has a similar story to tell.

Day 1
After a day postponement due to an overbooked Greyhound bus, our student arrives.  She looks much like the picture she sent ahead of arrival, only she’s tired after the very long ride from the University of Missouri. Friendly and pleasant, the family likes her immediately. Her English is good.

Our student, Ren Zhe, just barely has time to unpack and shower before we're off to the opening dinner for host families and students. Held at a church, the food was Japanese and very delicious. Families and students had the opportunity to meet and interact. We sang Christmas carols and Santa visited with a gift for each student. Then we broke into teams and had a Gingerbread House building contest. Ours didn’t win, but we sure had fun trying.

Ren Zhe is from China. I learned that there is no English equivalent to Zhe. It sounds something like Gya or Djyal (with the d and l very subtle). I don’t know if I’ll ever pronounce her name correctly.

The REAL Christmas Season

You hear it all the time. People say (me included),

All the stores have their holiday decorations out already - and it isn't even Thanksgiving!

Wouldn't it be nice if we finished one holiday before we started the next?

Christmas trees are up already in the stores, and it's just Halloween!

It's true; it gets earlier and earlier every year. But as quickly as the decorations go up, they also come down. It seems Christmas is over for most folks on December 26.

But wait a minute! Doesn't that just further commercialize Christmas? Are we to buy into the idea that Christmas is simply the days leading up to and including December 25?

During the children's sermon each Sunday during Advent, our Pastor has the children add figures to a nativity scene. It begins with an empty stable, of course, then animals are added each week. Mary and Joseph arrive, and finally on Christmas Eve, the baby Jesus.

But it isn't over yet. The Magi ("Three Kings" or "Three Wise Men") have yet to arrive to visit the baby Jesus. This will occur during our Epiphany worship service. This, to me, better signifies the ending to the Christmas story. We don't have to be in such a hurry to un-decorate, as Christmas is not yet over.

So, Merry Christmas (still)!

As for our household, the decorations did come down today, New Year's Day, as a matter of convenience (we always have this day off) and tradition (well, we always do it then). What about you? Are you still celebrating Christmas?

Holiday Stress

So recently, I have felt like a rubber band pulled taut to the nearly breaking point. It's so chaotic and busy this time of year, it's hard to find peace and tranquility. While the music sings "silent night" and "all is calm," I'm frantically on my way somewhere to pick up or do something. And it's not just shopping. It's parties, and school events, and work, and cooking, and . . . . I keep telling myself that if I can just make it past this milestone, the course is sure to get easier. But it doesn't. Or at least, it hasn't. I still believe it will.


My blogging has fallen off a little with all the busyness of the season, and I plan to finish the year with a few "favorites" posts. Like favorite books read this year, favorite blogs to read, maybe even favorite holiday activities or traditions, so stay tuned.

Question for you...
How do you cope with the busyness of this season?

Kids are a Lot Like Cats and Dogs or "But That's Not Fair"

There are cat people and dog people, then there are those that love both. I fall in the latter category, loving both cats and dogs (and birds, and hermit crabs, and fish, and . . . well, you get the picture. But that is another post). The funny thing is, you may love cats and dogs equally, but you care for them differently. And rightfully so, as they have very distinct needs.

Kids are a lot like cars and dogs. No, not just in the ruckus that often results when put together, particularly in close quarters. Rest assured, even though cats and dogs are supposedly mortal enemies, they can learn to live together in harmony, and so can your kids. But even with the same parents and consistent environmental influences, kids can be very dissimilar.

My own, for instance, are both girls with brown hair. That just about ends the similarity. One likes to dress up and make herself pretty, the other is more comfortable in a pair of torn jeans. One eats a well-balanced diet complete with vegetables of all colors and textures, while the other prefers a diet rich in carbohydrates and sugars. One prefers pushing herself for individual bests, while the other enjoys contributing to team efforts. Should I go on?

The point is, they are each individual and thus, I treat them differently. One child might need more reminders and dare I say "nagging" to get things done, while the other might be more of a self-starter. How many times have I heard, "but that's not fair" or "but you let my sister."

Truth told, if being fair means treating your kids the same, then I'll admit it, I'm not fair when it comes to my kids. I don't always treat them alike, and I do allow liberties at varying levels. But what is fair is how much I love both of them. That's what I want them to know more than anything. That even when things don't feel "fair" and they feel life (and their mom) is treating them unequally - the love I have for both of them is immense. I guess that's about the best we can do as parents.

Family Fun at the Texas Renaissance Festival

This past weekend my family and I attended the Texas Renaissance Festival in Plantersville, TX. According to their website, it is one of the nation's largest and most acclaimed renaissance theme parks. I believe it, although I can only compare it to King Richard's Faire in Carver, MA, as these are the only two renaissance theme parks I have visited. Both are a blast!

Expensive though, the price rivals a Disney park. However, when I asked the kids later which they enjoyed more, the renaissance festival or Disney World, the answer was a resounding, "I don't know."

So, there you have it. The Texas Renaissance Festival offers a fun-filled day of excitement and pretend, royalty and peasants, entertainment and shopping, and more. And it's a day that rivals Disney World in family fun (but not all attractions and shows are necessarily kid-friendly at the festival).

I sure hope we make the Texas Renaissance Festival an annual tradition!

BTW - The crowds were sparse this year compared to prior visits and I wonder if that was due to the weather or the economy?